Is it just me or is everything shit?

There was time when I was really happy, but today, it seems to me that I am just feigning my nonchalance. Now I search for excuses to get ecstatic. Why I do it? … When I saw people sleeping on pathways then I feel satisfied that at least I have a home and a mattress to sleep…I never think like this before…Is it happening only with me or is it now a general phenomenon? …I don’t know and I don’t want to know either because If I realize something which I don’t want to confront then it will only increases my conflicts. But then I remembers Benjamin Franklin quote - “knowing is better than wondering, waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beat the hell out of never trying”…So I guess it would be better if I know rather than always wander to find the truth…